Bound by the Draconian Code.

I am troubled.

Indeed. I am troubled in the sense that I am only human and have not yet reached divinity. I have stayed up nights fighting back tears. I have lied to people and myself. I've slandered and been slandered. I've held bitterness and been prone to fits of rage. I have sinned and fallen short of His glory. I fought off tears and deflected pain to the point that I can no longer be softened by a tender touch. I kept myself from feeling. See, I spent so long attempting to be moved by the Spirit alone and remove myself from human weakness that I made myself numb to the movings of the Spirit. I lost my sensitivity to the inner workings. I was so set on sanctified tears and tears of worship that I had no burden. 

We find all too often that we struggle only to suppress our humanity. All our lives we've been told that it is our humanity that makes us sinful. Actually it is quite the opposite--it is our humanity that qualifies us for redemption! We are redeemed because we are human. There is so much emphasis on divinity that humanity gets left in the dust, why? It truly is one of the most beautiful parts of living. If I were an angel or even a dog, I wouldn't qualify for the blood. I would never have the opportunity to experience the extreme need and, at the same time, lack of God. Christianity has called us to be statuesque, the rain comes, lightning strikes, and they'll tell you that in the end if you aren't standing you've been defeated. Defeat to me means you're destroyed, irreparable. Take joy, hope is not lost. Christianity is not the cornerstone. Christ Himself calls us to Him through His blood. Surely the blood was not shed for a fashioned rock. No, it was poured our for humanity. He calls us to holiness, and He's so gracious, and so good, that He even puts a little disclaimer knowing we are incapable. "Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit. Says the Lord." (Zech 4:6)Through our failings and shortcomings he works wonders. If he perfected the perfect there would be no miracle of redemption, no healing, and no restoration.

Paul commanded us to count it all joy when we suffer and go through trials. Indeed, count it all joy that you qualify for the unfailing love and salvation. Count it joy that you can cry out, and struggle, and desire a Saviour. Not even the angels in heaven  have that chance, they already sit at the throne of God. But we, dear humans, have been granted eternal life through salvation because of our weakness. And because we, as humans, are troubled and have not yet reached divinity.