Mono.

My life is quickly becoming monotonous. 

Daily routines: Bed times. Alarm clocks. 

Cups of coffee.

 Lunch and dinner at the same time

--everyday. 

I have been reduced to the uninteresting. 

It's on the verge of pathetic really. I sit and watch movies on my Netflix in my spare time. Basically, thats all the time. I'm afraid of being stuck in this rut. I have this overwhelming fear of living a life of complete and utter mediocrity. Where to the world, to my family, to my friends: I am nothing more than a passer-by. Up to today I have achieved nothing. I have no degree. No real job. No money of my own. Nothing that I can say I've done. My childhood friends are married, seriously dating, have kids, and ones even divorced. I must say though, I am extremely humbled. I'd never consider thinking of myself higher than what I am currently. To society I'm a student. To my friends I'm an extra body. To my parents? Well I'd call myself a burden. 22 and still mooching off my parents. Feel free to call me a bum at any time. I'm quite sure I'd agree, along with a few others. But as much as I look down on myself there's still Him. I want so much right now to bury myself in my pillows and blankets and cry. 

You see, there is no map to this life. There is no "x" to mark the spot. Life has no highlighted roads, no icons marking pit stops. The mountains we'll face aren't embossed. The lowest points in our lives aren't colored blue marking the oceans we'll venture through.

Alas, there is rest for the weary and hope for the hopeless. He calls me His treasure. He calls me His own. I don't see it now, and I highly doubt there will ever be a time where it's clear to me. But for now Ill hold to an old song: 

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart